Seoul Hash House Harriers Run 2399.13 “Don’t Tread On Me” [01 July 2017, 1600 / 4PM]

Don't Tread on Me

Seoul Brothers,

Once a year, we celebrate the grand casting off of shackles, the time when the rally cry of “inebriation before taxation!” really means something.  On this run before the MURICAN Independence Day, we celebrate those plucky colonists in Boston so many years ago, who bravely drank up all the ale and pissed into Boston Harbor.  The Brits were doing some sort of tea party at the same time, but that’s neither here nor there.  Come out to the hash, and follow as Choopa and Joo Dog lead  you half-minds on a glorious celebration of all things MURICAN–there’ll be hot dogs, beer, and genuine Tennessee whiskey, for those brave enough.

What: SH3 Run 2399.13 “Don’t Tread On Me”

When: 01 July 2017, 1600 / 4PM

Where: Bangbae Station, exit 2

Hares: Choopa & Joo Dog

Hash Cash: $10 / ₩10,000 (Includes hot dogs, beer, and sour corn mash whiskey)

ERECTIONS: It’s so easy, even a drunk ajeoshi could do it!

  1. Subway and Foot Option –
    From Itaewon Station, get on Line 6 (Brown Line) and go 2 stops to Samgakji; transfer to Line 4 (Light Blue Line) and go 5 stops to Sadang Station; transfer once more to Line 2 (Green Line) and go 1 stop to Bangbae Station.  Come up for air at Exit 2, and follow the chalk marks!  If you can’t do that, here’s a good approximation of how you should find the on-site: as you come out of the exit, turn right and walk about 400 meters.  Turn left at the bridge that crosses over the road, and walk up the hill; turn left at the 2nd street, and walk directly into a clearing, where you should see the hares–fat, happy, drunk, and full of lewd tales.

GPS: 37.477753, 126.993997  Parking may be possible, but we all know that none of you jackasses will be driving.

OnOn!

J.Dog, HonSec

 

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The Seoul Hash Tribune

June 24th 2017

“The Lair of the Lepercon” Trail

 

Attendees

-Blank Space (EM and junior hare)

-Lepercon (EM and senior hare)

-Joo Dog (Grand Pretender)

-Hymen (Hooch)

-Ultraman (Joint Master)

-HHIT (Joint Master)

-Just Call Me Snake (Horn)

-Longfellow (Voluntary Scribe)

-Clark No Name (Newcomer)

-Matt No Name (Newcomer)

 

Pre-Trail

With Independence Day looming like the dark clouds of Korea’s rainy season a fervent sense   of anti-Americanism hung in the air last Saturday. Not least because a protest was going on outside the US embassy that very day. Fearing I may get a cap inappropriately busted in my English ass I took the precaution of wearing my Union Flag boxer shorts in case the run took us anywhere near City Hall Station. We were, after all, running out of the “Lair of the Lepercon” whose affluent abode can be found in the “Hollywood Hills” of Gyeongbokgung some distance from the founder of Hyundai’s house and not too far from a number of embassies. Light summer rain hissed down as I got to the wooded onsite to be greeted by Ultraman, Joo Dog and newcomer Clark No Name. The rest of a marginally sized pack of ten soldiered up the upward path, dumped their things and got chalk talk from a flour-covered Lepercon. Proof like no other that he had been haring like a badass or, otherwise, baking extremely badly. However, as the trail would unfold before us some persons would make the outrageous suggestion that the run had been hared by someone other than two of our beloved, mature EM’s. Let us never forget that Hashers never run out of energy.

 

The Trail

There I was on my first Lepercon trail and, according to some Hashers, it was Lepercon’s first in a long while. Would this be a trail hared by a trail master out of practice resulting in faded chalk and nothing more than mere sprinkles of flour or would my balls get so badly busted I’d need to be carried to the onsite by Snake and Joo Dog. Neither as it turned out because, to add insult to potential future injury, the rain was gently persisting as the Hash fellowship thundered its way to Mt Doom or, more truthfully, Inwang San and the trail was, blessedly, an urban meander through alleys, side streets and main roads. That was until we all reached a solemn temple built on the mountainside. We scoured frantically for a helpful arrow only to be dumbfounded by the lack of them. Then utter Hash newbie Clark No Name found one opposite a barking temple dog. How would he know that Seoul Hashers have a long history with the fiercer of Seoul City’s canine variety. With the assistance of inexperienced eyes we were off again and, after some meters spent road running we were up several cases of wooden steps and into the shiggy-rich thickness Ingwan San had to offer. By now the Hash fellowship had broken and whereas the middle-aged marathon runners Clark No Name and Ultraman zipped further from our midst, it was just Matt No Name, Joo Dog, Hymen and Longfellow (yours truly). And Snake, of course, who’d vanished, but like the slithery reptile that shares his name, he could reappear at any moment. As the distance away from sea level rose so did the intensity of the humidity and this prudent Hasher found himself stripping off his shirt and terrorizing the even-prudenter female Seoul hiking populace with his hairy chest.

It was around this time that Hymen and Joo Dog suggested that either HHIT (who’d mysteriously turned up late for the start of the run) or Farty Breath’s nephew had, in fact, hared the run instead of our beloved and ever honest EM’s. So there was a hare by proxy if you will. Preposterous! Although it did seem amazing that such mature gentlemen, Lepercon and Blank Space, could traverse an epic mountain which was tiring the living fuck out of the four of us. Although the hares maintained their innocence I guess we’ll never the real truth.

As we returned to the “Lair of the Lepercon” we were welcomed by the FRBs Ultraman and Clark No Name: the eldest runners on trail. “Well, age before beauty,” I said. We were also welcomed by HHIT who’d given up on the trail it seemed. After much munching on Costco pizza, getting our breath back, quenching our thirst and standing around shirtless it was time for the circle.

 

Splash Highlights (or what the Scribe remembers)

Just Call Me Snake, a returner to the Seoul Hash, had been on a business trip in Taiwan and brought back a box of what Joo Dog described as flavored Taiwanese foreskins.

Matt No Name, a newcomer to the Seoul Hash House Harriers, waxed nostalgic about the Kathmandu Hash chapter in Nepal and lamented at their lack of songs and customs paling in comparison to those of the Seoul Hash.

Longfellow told some jokes by controversial Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle.

Just Call Me Snake sang the Bobby Brown song. I swear I’ll know all the lyrics when he sings it next time.

Hymen cracked some pedophilia jokes.

 

And so the Hash ended and everyone went off to Hoff ARA for one glass of ice-cold Max paid for by Joo Dog. May the Hash get a piece! Hope to see you next week, gentlemen. Remember, the more the merrier! On On!

– Longfellow