Seoul Hash House Harriers Run 2399.9 HHIT’s “True Grit” Run [3 June 2017, 1600/4PM]

*Be sure to scroll all the way past this post to read Dunkin’NoNuts’ weekly account in the new Hash Tribunal , immediately following this post*

True Grit

Brothers, this week JM HHIT shows us the meaning of “True Grit” as he challenges the pack to a date up Yongmasan. Our hare has of course recently conquered physical debilitation and alcoholic inebriation and offers us a trail of celebration. Make your way to the west side of Seoul, “Fill yer hand” with a beer, and show your true grit with your SH3 brothers.

 

What: Seoul Hash House Harriers Run 2399.9 HHIT’s “True Grit” Run

When: 3 June 2017, 1600/4PM

Where: Yongmasan Station, Exit 2, Line 7

Hare: HHIT

Hash Cash: $10 / ₩10,000

Erections

By Tube

From Samgakji or Itaewon Station, Board Line 6, heading towards Bonghwasan. Transfer at Cheonggu (STN 634/537) to Line 5, heading towards Macheon. Go 7 stops and transfer at Gunja (STN 544/725) to Line 7 and go two stops to Yongmasan (STN 723). Find Exit 2, and look for marks leading to the ONON site.

By POV

Head South from the Samgakji intersection along hang Gang Ro.  As you approach the Han River Bridge, get in the LEFT Lanes and prepare to take a left following the signs for HWY 70. After you take the Left, fight for your rightful place among the cars merging and veering RIGHT in about 100 meters to take the onramp to HWY 70. Zero your odometer as you pass under the FIRST bridge you go under (this will be the DongJak Bridge – its blue) Pass under Banpo at 1KM Pass under Hannam at 2.9KM Pass under Dongha at 4.2KM Get to the right lane and take the curly que RIGHT onto HWY 61 towards Uijeonbu. Zero your odometer as you pass back under HWY 70 onto HWY 61 The road will curve RIGHT, then LEFT At 4 KM be in ght right lane and take the offramp for RT 3 and Gunja Station. Keep RIGHT on the offramp and at 4.8KM take a RIGHT onto RT 3. (NOTE: This is NOT a LEFT Turn Friendly Road – SO…) At Gunja Station, or 5.5KM, take a RIGHT Travel 300 meters and make a U-Turn where the road widens Head back and Zero your Odometer as you pass STRAIGHT through Gunja Station Intersection Follow the road as it veers LEFT and merges with another road from the Right at 1.4KM **at 1.9 KM take the RIGHT into the apartment complex before you start going up the hill!

Look for parking at/near the I’Park Apartment complex and call the hare to get zeroed in.

If you cant follow all this, type this into google maps: 37.573775,127.08832 Go there.

 

*HASH TRIBUNE*

Seoul Hash House Harriers Run No. 2999.8

Down in Hash Hell (Jije near Songtan) May 27th 2017

 

Write Up by Dunkin’ No Nuts

 

Acknowledgements: The Osan Hashers for their sheer numbers and great amount of Hash spirit. And the Seoul Hashers as well but that goes without saying.

 

Attendees:

From the Seoul Hash

Dodic (EM)

Choopa Cabroan (Grand Pretender + Co Hare)

American History Xcellent (Senior Hare + Hooch + Horn)

He’s Huge; I’m Tiny (Joint Master)

Just Call Me Snake

Dunkin’ No Nuts

Little Sperm Maid

From the Osan Hash

Shuttlecock

No Name Sean

Sulu

She Ka Ka(?)

Burn Job

Whitespace Moan and others…

 

Pre-Trail

 

As William Congreve said “Hell hash no fury like a Harriette scorned” It was just as well then that for this “kennel kombo” run for Hash Hell Weekend it was strictly a gents-only occasion. Besides which we men didn’t want a trail gone awry and, by all accounts, no one truly went astray on trail that day anyway. The other chapter to join the “Men in Orange” was Osan Bulgogi Hash House Harriers and what a turn out we had. Twenty-five Harriers (or some such a figure) turned up at the dusty, earthy clearing beneath a noisy highway bridge in photogenic Jije. The on-site saw the majority of the pack being American militants with a few civilians and a small European contingency, namely Dunkin’ No Nuts (UK), Little Sperm Maid (Denmark) and Shuttlecock (Poland). Maybe not the lat one. Our replacement Hooch, none other than that week’s senior hare, American History Xcellence, provided a plentiful bounty of bitching beer and even cider! Something of which absent EM Farty Breath would have been especially proud.

So the Horn was sounded, a circle was circled and chalk talk began minus the chalk but double the talk. It was disclosed that there would be rice paddies and that the hares had been up since 8 that morning marking trail. So would we be in for a 30km ball buster complete with dodging fatal landslides, escaping packs of wolves and being up to our necks in shiggy? No, as it turned out. With the promise of wildlife, rice paddies and a good run we set out to discover the forest, flora, fauna and the possibly faded trail of majestic Jije.

 

The Trail

 

The run got off to a muddy start as the pack slopped its way under a weed-ridden bridge. We then dashed up a precarious embankment and slammed our sneakers onto yards and yards of knee-cracking concrete. With the pack breaking up and HIIT, Dodic and Little Sperm Maid leading the charge we met our first check back. Retracing our steps through the barren, rustic flatlands of delightful, rural Jije, we did the classic Seoul Hash thing: break the law by jaywalking before being met with the promised rice paddies. We avoided soaking our socks via a narrow crossing between paddies. Most of us managed to successfully scale the bugger except, of course, for Shuttlecock sliding in and finding out, to his dismay, that the water below was infested with centipedes. Why was he born so beautiful?

Once we escaped rice farmers and their resident creepy-crawlies we banged back on the sidewalk and, after some trail speculation ie where did the chalk marks go? We found trail once again and returned to more pastoral parts of lovely Jije. With HHIT and one Hasher dragging a toy hare on string, we encountered a herd of (gently) stampeding black goats (lightly) thundering down a grassy bank up ahead. They came to a standstill some fifteen feet from us and gave us the old stare. So this was the wildlife the hares were talking about. By now Dodic had joined us and helpfully announced “Don’t run!” so as not to provoke the halted herd. As we further (and carefully) sniffed out any evidence of an ongoing trail, the billy goats gruffed off and the pack could resume its running status.

As soon as we’d found the trail again we spied a blob of flour dolloped on a tree stump beside two bamboo shoots. As we soldiered further on beaming rays of early evening sunlight filtered through the gaps in the branches of the tall trees and the Earth felt still and quiet. The essence of it all was magnificent except for one thing-we couldn’t find trail. After much slogging around it was eventually decided to make it up the hill and turn left at the top. Harriers with keener trail sense than I figured we should go in that direction. It was a delightful little walk in the woods that soon turned back onto the trail and everyone was overjoyed. Before long our soles felt the slap of concrete once again and we were over a pedestrian bridge and back toward the onsite.

After I made up the tail end of the first wave of Hashers I congratulated American History Xcellence and Choopa on a wonderful trail and chowed down on a Jewish hot dog-the very kind that gave the legendary Joo Dog his name. I also found out, to my disappointment, that Choopa hadn’t even read my previous write-up let alone sent it to the mailing list but, then again, worse things happen at sea.

The remaining Hashers gradually trickled in in their numbers. A fire was lit and a circle (or more like a horseshoe; the wind was blowing smoke in our faces) formed in anticipation of the circle.

 

Splash Story Highlights

 

After the sole present EM Dodic led us in a benediction the splash tales began.

 

The Osan Hasher trailing the toy hare behind him talked about the well-endowed men of the Western world. According to him Chinese condoms don’t quite fit them.

 

HHIT sang “I Told the Ajumma” to the tune of the old Witch Doctor pop song. I’m fairly sure I’ve not heard that one before.

 

Sulu, organizer of Osan Hash, sang his praises to everyone for coming out.

 

Dodic got some help singing a song about Muslims from Grand Pretender Choopa Cabroan. My Shareelah….

 

ICUP sang the ever-classic “Asshole” song.

 

Shuttlecock of Poland (apparently) sang a song about losing his penis. I mean, who hasn’t?

 

Whitespace Moan told a joke: “How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.” Lol.

 

Burn Job told a story about when he and his wife went to a talent agency where he ripped off his clothes and got dirty and…you really had to be there.

 

Just Call Me Snake told an interesting story about soldiers from out of town in Itaewon the night before. From what I remember him saying there were many shenanigans and one guy fell out of a window. Hopefully he didn’t die. Hopefully…

 

The Little Sperm Maid told a joke: “What did the lifeguard say to the hippy? You’re too far out.” Groan…

 

Post-Trail

 

As a selection of limp dicks put out the remnants of the fire everyone packed up, some went back to Seoul but most, I think, on aftered to the Hash Hell Social. A very drunken time…

 

On On, gents, and I hope to see you at the next run. Remember, the more the merrier.

 

May the Hash get a piece.

 

Dunkin’