The Day We Went to Blackpool

The Day We Went to Blackpool

Didn’t we have a miserable time
The day we went to Blackpool?
An ‘orrible day, we got pissed on the way
And spent our money on chips and bingo.
Hour after hour we sat in a bar
we drank a barrel of cider.
And on the way back I was sick over Jack
And the rains came down.

Do you recollect the ‘avoc we left?
We vandalized the seafront.
Sidney the punk, he took a chunk
From his head when he nutted a parking meter.
I’ll never forget the fish that we ate;
we staggered ’round the fairground.
We distributed eels from the big ferris wheel
And the rains came down.

Do you recall the thrill of it all?
We organized a gang bang.
Under the pier, a carton of beer,
An inflatable doll called Vinyl Vera.
She ruptured the two at the front of the queue
and then it came to my turn.
I couldn’t begin ’cause the tide had came in
And the rains came down.

Eric and Sid, we bet’em a quid
they could climb the Blackpool Tower.
Newcastle Brown made Eric fall down.
We carried ‘im into a Wimpy bar.
Sidney threw up right into his cup;
we ‘ad to call the waiter.
Then Eric was ill all over the bill
And the rains came down.

Eric and me, we wanted a pee.
We climbed up on the bandstand.
We recycled booze all over our shoes
And quite a lot over the band as well.
We jumped in our car, we didn’t get far,
policeman pulled us over.
We must’ve been out of our brain
’cause we came down by train
And the rains came down.

Do you recall the thrill of it all
The day we went to Blackpool?
An ‘orrible day, we got pissed on the way
And spent our money on magistrate’s fines.
We stood in the dock until four o’clock;
the jury found us guilty.
We were fined two and six
’cause the judge was ‘alf pissed
And the rains came down.