My God How the Money Rolls In!

My God How the Money Rolls In!

My father makes book on the corner
My mother makes illicit gin
My sister sells kisses to sailors
My God how the money rolls in

Chorus:

Rolls in, rolls in,
My God how the money rolls in, rolls in
Rolls in, rolls in,
My God how the money rolls in

My mother’s a bawdyhouse keeper
Every night when the evening grows dim
She hangs out a little red lantern
My God how the money rolls in

My cousin’s a Harley Street surgeon
With instruments long, short and thin
He only does one operation
My God how the money rolls in.

My sister’s a barmaid in Sydney,
For a shilling she’ll strip to the skin.
She’s stripping from morning to midnight,
My God how the money rolls in.

My brother-in-law is a Hasher,
Who wanders around the hash bar,
He’s picking up business for sister,
My God how the money rolls in.

My brother’s a poor missionary,
He saves fallen women from sin.
He’ll save you a blonde for a guinea,
My God how the money rolls in.

My sister-in-law is a Hasher,
She lays trails year out and year in,
But when she lays hounds in the bushes,
My God how the money rolls in.

My Grandad sells cheap prophylactics,
And punctures the teats with a pin.
For Grandma gets rich from abortions,
My God how the money rolls in.

Uncle Joe is a registered plumber,
His business in holes and in tin.
He’ll plug up your hole for a tanner,
My God how the money rolls in.

Aunt Mary makes deals with the milkman,
The mailman and newsboy named Ben.
For a piece of pie and Aunt Mary,
My God how the money rolls in.

Uncle Tommy was once in a prison,
Where he was a joy to the men,
Now he bends over for business,
My God how the money rolls in.

Aunt Joan keeps a girl’s seminary,
Teaching young girls to begin.
She doesn’t say where they will finish,
My God how the money rolls in.

Uncle Harry is carving out candles,
From wax that is surgically soft.
He hopes it’ll fill up the gap,
If ever his business is off.

I’ve lost all me cash on the horses,
I’m sick from the illicit gin.
I’m falling in love with me sister,
My God what a mess I am in.

My aunt keeps a girl’s seminary,
Teaching young girls to begin,
She doesn’t say where they will finish,
My God how the money rolls in.

I’ve shares in the very best companies,
In tramways, tobacco, and tin,
And brothels in Rio de Janeiro,
My God how the money rolls in.

My brother Jim whittles out candles,
From wax that is exceptionally soft,
He says it will come in real handy,
If ever his business falls off.

I’ve lost my way off of the hash trail,
I can’t find the beer at the end.
I’ve got to spot flour by nightfall,
My God will you please let this end!